desperate for something that won’t come my way
I stare at the sky and look at the stars , I ask them why I feel this pain
Is it all in vain ? will things ever change ?
will I have to keep filling my heart with pain ?
something has to fill the haunting space, that’s been empty since that dreadful day
my mom got stabbed and I lost my dad
over diabolic liquor that drowns your past
see I once was sweet , I once was young
but all that changed when the hood seemed fun
cause anything felt better than staying at home
watching my mom get beat , taking the blows
while im staring at her with a broken nose
people don’t know what I went through
cause I was getting A’s through middle school
fronting a smile , keeping it cool , fucking with drugs , running from the truth
so don’t come at me with “you don’t know”
I was homeless at six-teen out in the cold
I’ve seen people die , I’ve seen my friends go, I’ve seen em’ take a bullet from a 38 chrome
Pasadena Star News , the whole world fucking knows
but they don’t know how it feels , to live in the hood and witness massive drug deals
Taking the appeal to get less time, over a crime you didn’t do that's filled with lies
and we cant snitch cause our lifes on the line , they’ll take it so quick in the blink of an eye
see I been behind bars , my life's been hard
but that doesn’t mean you cant have a fresh start
I fucked up in high school so what if I did
I quit doing drugs and im doing my shit
yeah I still get jumped , I still get threats
but that doesn’t mean I should give up n’ quit !
To the lost souls , im letting yall know , keep holding on, your not all alone
I used to smoke every day n’ watch my brother do coke
Now im writing this down to give yall hope
I been in the hood , ive been beat up
ive been mistreated but ive had enough !
enough is enough cause when the drugs are gone
your homies will leave you to get fucken jumped.
Enough with that rap shit now I got a speech :
LOVE YOURSELF cause no one will love you for you, ACCEPT YOURSLEF and your flaws, KNOW YOUR WORTH . im not going to tell you “don’t do drugs” cause I did drugs and that would make me a hypocrite, but I will say if you so happen to try drugs . . . be prepared to accept the consequences. Everyone claims they won’t get addicted and yeah some people really don’t , but the truth is no one knows if they will . I sure didn’t . . . if your feeling alone there is people that care, and if you feel like no one cares, its either because your not opening up or your trying to “fit in” in all the wrong places, because my staff cares, I personally care .
elijah aguilar, 18, Pasadena